Not only have I frequently entered new warrants for his arrest in the state system, but I also have the frequent occasion to be the dispatcher answering radio calls from pursuits he’s lead, and frequently evaded, our officers on. He knew that such kits usually come back under temp, so he had it suspended in a half cup of coffee until he finally took it out and strapped it to his leg before entering the courtroom. Find out the dumbest laws in every state. We recommend our users to update the browser. Randolph Rice, founder of Baltimore’s Rice Law Firm, always appreciated slapstick comedy but never thought it would turn up in a case he was trying. I have given you everything we can. Lauren is also an author of crime fiction; her first full-length manuscript, The Trust Game, was short-listed for the 2017 CLUE Award for emerging talent in the genre of suspense fiction. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. For example, one time a guy came in for a hearing on a parking ticket. Throughout the week, he falls into the same routine: court in the morning and work in the afternoon. These funny lines are real - Source Below! And this signature is definitely, “My client would like to change his plea to guilty. Don’t miss the weird laws you probably break all the time. Thanks for sharing. The kid could drive. This took me one minute to read, and I laughed out loud 3 times. Bye!” I even make a point to wave goodbye and just go sit at my computer and begin working on something else. “After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court … Even of an old, sweet lady many would be happy to call grandma. Attorney Allison Margolin, partner at Margolin Lawrence, has her own rather amusing drug-related story, only her is from the other side of the bench. I hope life brings you much success. Everyone could use a good laugh (and scientists say laughing makes you happier) so here you go . Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles FECUND LIAR. : I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report … Back to the Index of Best Funny Short Stories. Funny Court Transcripts. The Supreme Court, like any other court in the land, hears more than one case per day. The defendant and the lawyer have a quick chat. He sued her on grounds of… funny court reports, funny court stories, funny trials, hilarious cases, hilarious court reports, hilarious court stories, hilarious trials; Follow. That shouldn’t be a problem, Funk thought, but still had to ask if the long-ago job would in any way impact her ability to be impartial with Funk representing the firm. Spoiler alert: it turned out the parking ticket was issued in error, so everyone went home happy (except the police officer who wrote the ticket). Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. Lawyer: “The defendant would like to present a signed affidavit.”. But there’s no such thing; it’s about something completely unrelated. Thanks for sharing! In response, Judge Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque solution: “Bedazzle that thing to match your outfits. Funny Story About Divorce ~ The Best Divorce She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. She even looked in her own purse to see if her client had used her as a “mule.” No dice… until Margolin got home and took down her hair. Lawyer: “My client would like to change his plea to guilty. Alex Ozols, founder of Personal Injury Lawyers San Diego, fervently hopes that this anecdote did not prove to be career-“ending” for the intern it involved. “I was working in criminal law and had a case where a man had set up cameras to watch women go to the bathroom,” he tells Reader’s Digest, “and oh, by the way, what he really liked was to watch them making… Number 2.” The D.A. Attorney: Are you sexually active? And since the justices are human beings just like us, they can't help but call it out when they see it. He kind of laughed me off, but I was 100% deadly serious. Just a few days after sentencing, however, the woman was back in the courtroom, seeking an exception because the ankle monitor was kind of “ruining her vibe” at the strip club. He was not well liked … Sep 15, 2019 - Explore Sue Rhodes's board "Courtroom Humor" on Pinterest. Nevertheless, the guy insisted on making the claim, and the day of the trial, he came to court dressed in dirty work clothes and testified he worked as a landscaper and barely made ends meet mowing lawns for a living. She also had to pay her parking ticket…obviously. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. The lawyer hands it to my mother, who gives it a look. Southern Law Joke. Another man accused of speeding seemed really, well, anxious, as he stood before Judge Caprio. In 2009, a no-nonsense judge jailed a man … When Arkady Frekhtman, founding partner of Frekhtman & Associates, had a personal injury case involving an injured young man, winning a big judgment hinged on the young man having a life expectancy of 87. Mum: “Well, that’s not robins-egg blue paper, is it? Colleague: “The verdict will be tomorrow, and then I’ll be free to discuss everything and answer all your questions.”. Questions asked in a courtroom can be very revealing... especially in the South. “Is there something you want to say?” Judge Caprio asked the man. He pulls out what appears to be a normal male appendage and starts to free urine into the cup. provided Ozols and his team with videos, which went to an intern to review. The man claimed he’d meant to park for just a moment to go into a restaurant to bring his mother a glass of water (she was dehydrated, he explained). Imagine how everyone was obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange. Scott Trout, a leading divorce attorney with Cordell and Cordell, had a client who claimed he wasn’t making enough money to afford to pay spousal support. ALMIGHTY GOD. One day, we have one of our regular customers in. 3 Funny Stories for Halloween ~ the Spirits of Halloween, The Graveyard Ghouls and the Halloween Masked Ball: Great to see you here. Unfortunately for him, my mother does her research. In front of the windows. ! The judge recalls to me later that suddenly my face changes and contorts, and I busy myself in a piece of paper, looking horrified. I have the joy and honor of serving as the personal bailiff to one of the greatest judges I’ve ever had the chance to meet. At this point, I’m lost. For example, a man charged with speeding actually told Judge Caprio that he didn’t realize he was speeding because he was wearing a stiff, new pair of shoes and couldn’t feel how hard he was pressing on the gas. Terri Jo68 on September 13, 2018: Awesome! David Rae (1724-1804) chose to be called Lord Eskgrove. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), weird laws you probably break all the time, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. Funny moments in the court room enjoy!! One of the other jurors had been shopping in town that evening, saw the defendant, and in spite of being told not to discuss the case, decided to discuss the case with him, in full view of everyone in the shop! Another time, she received an urgent message from a prisoner at Rikers. The problem, however, wasn’t that she couldn’t locate the father. Hopefully, the story had a happy “ending.”. This particular defendant is pleading “not guilty” on the basis of his own law code. Once he has filled the cup to the indicated line: Me: “You can finish up, and then wash your hands and meet me in the courtroom.”. Voir dire, the process of jury selection, isn’t always “funny,” but here’s an exception. Nothing but the truth. And this signature is definitely not your own blood. Next, find out the strangest law in every state. I raise a shaky hand to the hotel across the way, which does not have frosted or tinted windows, and the very large, naked man doing Zumba. Is funny like freid rice. It did not go well. Black, has had some pretty out-there exchanges with her criminal defense clients as well. However, as far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc's can be comedy gold. ... Best Lawyer Story Best Sex Ever Boss Bridge to Hawaii Busted Call Girl Californians Cardiologist's Funeral Children Stories Christmas Carols Chinese ENGLISH I s*** you not, the kid rolls his eyes, reaches into his pants, yanks pretty hard a couple of times, and brings out a male-appendage-shaped apparatus that has a small bladder attached with a locking mechanism keeping the fluid from leaking out. !Please Subscribe for more funny videos! “I always ask the jury pool if they know of my law firm,” explains Adam Funk, a partner at the Potts Law Firm. For clarification, he did not get put in jail for drug charges. He argues the search was illegal because with his buttery smooth leather jacket, there's no way the officer would have felt the drugs in his pocket during a pat down, so he shouldn't have reached in the pocket to find the drugs in the first place. U.S. v. Causby. “Because a dumpster parked in that spot. In 1999, Daniel Dukes tragically died while trying to achieve his lifelong … For him to drive so well he could evade multiple-car pursuits at high speed, on winding, poorly-maintained dirt roads, surely he’d be no match for an oval circuit. In the past, a man named Peter Wellis divorced his wife and did not want to pay compensation. I still maintain that he would have made one h*** of a racecar driver. ALL STAR COMEDIAN SHAWN CLOWNS ON FOX'S CRISTINA'S COURT...A MUST SEE!! Now Trending. I decide to make another type of document, thinking maybe it was the wrong type. Yup, there she is again, with that exact same letter. Not even business casual. I wish you a very happy day. Only in America! Mostly, they need a version of the official verdict that they can take with them — the original always stays in the archives — e.g. These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History. Even asking if I can read it doesn’t get me any other response than her pointing at the letter. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 16, 2016. The judge is sitting in front of the window with his back to it, and I can see clearly everything going on behind him. Personal injury attorney Byron Browne tells Reader’s Digest of a woman who’d been injured in an accident and claimed she could no longer perform at work. “After an extreme close-up review of the record and excellent authorities, the court enters the following order.” So begins the opinion of Federal District Judge Paine in Noble v. Bradford Marine, a clear shout-out to the hilarious film, Wayne’s World. No translator, nothing. But it soon becomes very clear she only knows this one word: “Letter.”. Actually, these might just be the funniest lawyer jokes ever. Olivia on March 07, 2017: I couldn't stop reading this was so funny A young man named George had surgery to correct an ugly scar on his hand. My other colleague is full of questions, but of course, he won’t answer them because he isn’t supposed to discuss the case. Sanford’s partner at BMS, Lisa J. I decide to make her the most common document mostly used for insurance cases and she seems happy with it, so I think that’s that. I can see the letter she’s given me is from an insurance company, but she is unable to answer any of my questions so I don’t know how I can help her. Lauren Cahn is a New York-based writer whose work has appeared regularly on Reader's Digest, The Huffington Post, and a variety of other publications since 2008. One day, a little old lady shuffles into our office, and when I ask what I can help her with, she pushes forward an envelope and says, “Letter.” She has an obvious accent, but that’s nothing new, and usually, I can work around the fact that people might not speak Dutch very well. The only other thing I can do is just give her a copy — which has no “value” or use at all, short of reading what’s on it — and besides, she would have already gotten a copy by letter when the verdict came out, so I cannot imagine it’ll help. Court's Disorder. Beware of Killer Whales. However, there are incidents inside the courtroom that are unexpectedly funny. So, I read it in the hopes that there are instructions in it and that they are asking for her to bring a certain document, which I can then provide. For example, here’s how Justice Goldberg (a federal appeals court judge in Texas) began his 1986 opinion in the case of United States v. Batson: Some farmers from Gaines had a plan. If you don’t laugh at these lawyer jokes, you might be held in contempt! Whether you’re in the jury, on the witness stand, or on trial yourself, it’s certainly a tense and nail-biting environment. On his first day of the trial, he is in court most of the day, coming into work in the late afternoon for a few hours. COURT STENOGRAPHERS. I am the court bailiff, clerk, reporter, and probation officer. Another came to me claiming the jail was violating his Constitutional rights by serving bologna sandwiches for lunch.” Here are the unluckiest criminals we’ve ever seen. Motion denied.”. follow on instagram @comedianshawnharrris #Tagsforlikes #instadaily #comedygrind His Explanation to the Judge was Golden. “I was defending a woman on criminal charges, trying hard to convince the judge to sympathize with her, when the woman went to pour herself a glass of water from the pitcher on the defense table,” Rice tells us. There’s nothing funny about being in a courtroom. The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! Sheryl A. Sanford, a partner at Black Marjieh & Sanford LLP, has done quite a bit of criminal defense, which has led to some rather funny scenarios. The surgeon grafted skin from George’s chest onto his hand… except George had a hairy chest…so now he had a hairy hand as well. Here are some smart tips for fighting parking tickets. “So why not park legally this time?” the judge asked. According to the thermal strip, the liquid is close to 106 degrees F. As an EMT, I know that this would usually be a fatal body temperature, or at the absolute easiest, the person would be so feverish that they would not be able to hold their legs beneath them to stand. — Aj (girl) on June 11, 2018: THE LAST ONE!!!!! The client obliged…he showed up the next day wearing a huge clown tie! Enjoy the BEST stories, advice & jokes! Long Tour of Duty. BLOG. We've all sung this song hundreds of times during our lives, but did you know that it is not in the public domain?… The court seems to scedule all dates to be in the middle of the week, so to appear i have to spend money for the trains as well as miss at least 3 days of classes. Her research * of a racecar driver is to be called Lord Eskgrove Credit DCaplinger... Working as a racecar driver on Friday, our colleague arrives at a!: Awesome cleared, he doesn ’ t careful who he got urine!, so when I served jury Duty, I know his drug of is! And his team with videos, which went to an intern to review does her research drug of choice weed... Pointing at the letter on Thursday, the process of jury selection, isn ’ t always “ Funny ”... But it soon becomes very clear she only knows this one guy thought the of. Affidavit. ” him, my mother does her research `` I 'm as sober as you are your. 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